I forgot this bit....
Just fast… it felt good to be in touch with y'all again. It reminds me
of being in a forbidding murky cavernous tunnel, seemingly by
yourself… and havin' up the audacity to holler out HELLLOOOO… and
being delighted at not only the reverberations of my own voice, but
the ones that come back at me, the unexpected HELLLOOOSSS that echo
back at me for a long time.
So thank you for y'all responses.
I wanted to, just to say, my friend Henry Flesh died. And I cried when
I was told, and wept some more with some others that also knew him…
but then I just felt… he's good… he's playin'…just his energy is
someplace. It lives on in his work and those of us who loved him and I
just believe in energy. That's why I believe in prayers, the power of
it. Of 12 step rooms, that there is something greater then ourselves,
an energy that is more then we are… nature or the combined force of
us… and maybe it is just my way of making peace with death… but so be
it. I know he is at peace, but playin in the fields of the Lord.
And the Lord is just energy… molecules, atoms, chocolate.
I saw a wondrous film. I am usin' my favorite word: wondrous, so you
know it is thus… "CRASH"
If ya ain't seen it go. In a theater if it is still playing. It made
me weep and scream and beg…and almost leap outta my seat! And I was
not dropped, I was satisfied and uplifted and it is what I want from
movies and what I want to do in my work. I don't want to give you any
gratuitous cruelty or violence or death when there is another way to
encapsulate… you can bring someone to the point of it… and still hold
their heart, which is respect for true suffering. As a writer, I am
taking you in… and I have to embrace you… to respect your suffering…
not cause more… I can show you what I need to, what comes from my need
to explain, but I don't have to stab your vulnerability by being
transgressive… and I think those that are in to that stuff, the
transgressive, just taking stuff over the edge, have become numb to
the grand minutia of pain… I have reverence for pain… I battle with
it constantly. I do not glamorize it, or desire to cause more. I have
my demons, but I write to have dominion of them, not to unleash them
on others…. I write for relief. And to say this from of…hellooo…and
listen to the resonations of those voices that come back from all over
and tell me, they heard it and are there too… coz it is safe to.
of being in a forbidding murky cavernous tunnel, seemingly by
yourself… and havin' up the audacity to holler out HELLLOOOO… and
being delighted at not only the reverberations of my own voice, but
the ones that come back at me, the unexpected HELLLOOOSSS that echo
back at me for a long time.
So thank you for y'all responses.
I wanted to, just to say, my friend Henry Flesh died. And I cried when
I was told, and wept some more with some others that also knew him…
but then I just felt… he's good… he's playin'…just his energy is
someplace. It lives on in his work and those of us who loved him and I
just believe in energy. That's why I believe in prayers, the power of
it. Of 12 step rooms, that there is something greater then ourselves,
an energy that is more then we are… nature or the combined force of
us… and maybe it is just my way of making peace with death… but so be
it. I know he is at peace, but playin in the fields of the Lord.
And the Lord is just energy… molecules, atoms, chocolate.
I saw a wondrous film. I am usin' my favorite word: wondrous, so you
know it is thus… "CRASH"
If ya ain't seen it go. In a theater if it is still playing. It made
me weep and scream and beg…and almost leap outta my seat! And I was
not dropped, I was satisfied and uplifted and it is what I want from
movies and what I want to do in my work. I don't want to give you any
gratuitous cruelty or violence or death when there is another way to
encapsulate… you can bring someone to the point of it… and still hold
their heart, which is respect for true suffering. As a writer, I am
taking you in… and I have to embrace you… to respect your suffering…
not cause more… I can show you what I need to, what comes from my need
to explain, but I don't have to stab your vulnerability by being
transgressive… and I think those that are in to that stuff, the
transgressive, just taking stuff over the edge, have become numb to
the grand minutia of pain… I have reverence for pain… I battle with
it constantly. I do not glamorize it, or desire to cause more. I have
my demons, but I write to have dominion of them, not to unleash them
on others…. I write for relief. And to say this from of…hellooo…and
listen to the resonations of those voices that come back from all over
and tell me, they heard it and are there too… coz it is safe to.
posted by JT LeRoy at 11:38 AM
<< Home